My name is Diana. I am a Ukrainian and love my Motherland. Kirovograds’ka oblast is situated in the central Ukraine. There are twelve towns in it. One of them, Novoukrainka, is the dearest to my heart.
It is a small but picturesque town situated on the banks of the Chornyi Tashlyk. Our main street is Soborna. When you walk along it, magnificent, tall chestnut trees will attract you. They will make you fall in love with Novoukrainka. There are two old churches in the center. Olexandr Nevskyi Cathedral is one of the historical sights of the town. Another historical place is the remains of the old mill. The Polish lord Sigmund Varshavs’kyi built it. He also built shops, roads and bridges in our town.
But there are some things I don't like.Firstly, there is an abandoned park on the riverbank. Here we could make a rest area for our citizens. I would like to create some sports grounds, cycling tracks there, because young people have no place to spend free time.The next is Hussars Forest not far from Novoukrainka. There was a sanatorium, where people from all over Ukraine came to improve their health. It is a pity, it is closed now. I dream about creating a camp for children.
I love my native town and I am proud of it. In the future I wish to live in a peaceful flourishing town of Novoukrainka.

 

Hi Diana,

Thanks a lot for your entry.  All of the ones we’ve got so far are great but I chose yours as our first monthly winner because I really liked your plans for the future as well as the description of what your hometown is like now.  It’s easy to see how much you love Novoukrainka and also how you’d like to improve life for the people who live there.  You used some excellent vocabulary, although sometimes your language was a little formal.  For example, you wrote that Novoukrainka is the dearest to your heart.  It would be more natural here to write that it’s the one that’s closest to your heart or that it’s the one you like best, There were also a few times when I could see you were choosing words from your first language.  An example of this is native city.  In English we’d write that Novoukrainka is your hometown.  It’s the same with motherland, which doesn’t sound very natural in English.  Instead you could say that you are Ukrainian and that you’re proud of your country. 

Generally, you used capital letters correctly.  However, we’d always put a capital letter for the name of an oblast so it’s more accurate to say that that you’re from Kirovograds’ka Oblast, which is in central Ukraine.  Ukrainians use the expression ‘situated in’ a lot but it’s quite formal in English. 

I know Ukrainians also have problems with articles, which is natural because you don’t have them in your first language.  In your final sentence, the correct article would be ‘the’ before peaceful because you’re talking about a specific city. You could write that you’d like to live in a peaceful, flourishing city because there are many of these in the world.  There is only one Novoukrainka. 

Compare:

I live in a big city (= one of many)

I like living in the centre of Kyiv (= there is only one centre of Kyiv). 

Overall, there were lots of really good things about your entry.  I think you could make it even better by trying to make some of your sentences longer using words like ‘that’, ‘which’ and ‘because’.  For example, you could write that it’s a pity (that) the sanitorium is closed now because you dream of creating a camp for children there.  Similarly, you could write that there is an abandoned park on the riverbank where you could make a rest area for people.  Finally, you could write that one of your favourite places is Hussars’ Park, which is not far from Novoukrainka.

The things I’d most like to see in your hometown are the chestnut trees and the old churches because I’m interested in both nature and architecture.  There are lots of old churches in my hometown, too.  One of them, St Nicholas’ Cathedral, was first built in 1080, although the church you can see now was finished in 1350. 

By the way, your entry encouraged me to look up Novoukrainka online and I noticed that there isn’t a lot of information about it in English.  This means you’re really helping to put your hometown on the map for people from other countries!   Thanks a lot for taking part in the competition and I hope you and your classmates enjoy our first monthly prize. 

Good luck with your English studies and best wishes from everyone at Pearson and Dinternal-Book.

 

All the best,

Michael